I had longed for being a stay at home mom. Leisurely lunches with friends, window shopping, re-decorating our home but that wasn't the way it was going to happen. I was thrusted into being the stay at home mom role when I was laid off after my maternity leave. I never even went back for a day. A victim of the housing industry and the recession that still continues today. Not only was I at home now with a brand new baby, but my finical situation was unknown. There would be no lunches, window shopping or re-decorating of the house. I had become house and child bound.
As I sobbed to my husband when we came home from the hospital, I told him that I didn't know what to do all day. I didn't even know what shows they had on during the day. My husband tried to console me by telling me of daytime programming and I seemed to sob harder and harder. I didn't want to watch Oprah and Price Is Right all day. To make things worst my beloved pet cat Maui died six days after I came home from the hospital. She wasn't even there to keep me company.
But I learned to embrace my new life and accept it for what it is. Stay at home mom. I pack school lunches, I shop for kid clothes and I make my house "less messy" now. That is what I do. That is my life now. So two years later and with the discovery of Facebook, I have managed to keep myself busy and somewhat sane. This day is more then a birthday of Tyler's but the day of new beginnings for me as well.
As I sit here and type this, a new fat cat at my feet, a sick child on the couch, another one at school waiting to be picked up and the birthday boy sleeping his afternoon away I think back to the day I had Tyler. I like to also think it was the best 4 days of my life as I laid in the hospital. A spa vacation if you will. There was no boys fighting, no school pick up lines, meals brought to me in bed and I didn't even have to get up to pee (thanks to a catheter). Maybe it was the calm before the storm but I like storms.
Very well said, Nicole. I did the reverse. I was the stay at home mom and had it down pat. My house was clean and organized. My boys playroom was always picked up and the boys bedroom was decorated and up to date. Dinners were made, I volunteered at school and was on various committees. I planted a garden and landscaped my yard. I made cookies and always had the neighborhood kids over... But now, I work outside the home. It was suggested by my husband and people around him, that I should get out of the house and get some stimulation???? I was plenty stimulated with two young boys. Now after 3 years, my house is a mess, there are no more dinners, and only an occasional cookie. My son's room decorations are out of date and the payroom is hard to walk into. I cannot go on my son's fieldtrips, nor can I help out at school. Forget the committees and volunteerism... not happening. I could go on, but I think you get my point. Change is good, not always comfortable but good. You and I and others will master our new fate within time and then will find that the norm until we change our life again.
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